In the world of “Disclaimer”, currently streaming on Apple TV+, actress Leila George delivers a powerful performance that delves into the complexities of truth, identity, and the weight of secrets. When we met her, Leila was getting her hair and makeup done in her Venice hotel room. The atmosphere was intimate, and she welcomed us with a warmth that instantly put us at ease. From the beginning, it felt as if she was truly eager to share her thoughts and experiences. Throughout our conversation, she opened up with a sense of safety and authenticity.
Portraying Catherine – a character navigating the delicate balance between confidence and vulnerability – was an emotional journey for Leila. She shared joyful anecdotes, recalling her first impressions of the story and the significant influence of director Alfonso Cuarón’s vision. Drawing from both her personal and professional experiences, Leila guided us through the intricate layers of her performance, discussing the resonant themes of the series and the lessons learned in embodying a character that reflects both strength and fragility. Her genuine willingness to engage with these complex emotions made our conversation feel deeply meaningful and, hopefully, universally relatable.
How was reading your character in the script of “Disclaimer” for the very first time? Were you familiar with the book on which is based?
Yeah! I got a call from my London agent saying that Alfonso Cuarón was going to phone me the next day, which was terrifying because that never happens in Hollywood – it’s one of those magical rumors that you hear happening occasionally, but you think it’s never going to happen to you. There wasn’t any script for me to read, so I didn’t know how to prepare, but I didn’t want to mess up, so I read the book overnight. When I spoke to Alfonso the next day, he started telling me the story, and halfway through, because I thought I was going to take points for it, I said, “Just so you know, I read the book last night”, and he said, “No, why did you do that?!”, so I thought I’d already messed up [laughs].
Anyway, to answer your question, I did read it and it’s an amazing book.
In the first scenes, when Catherine receives her award, we perceive her as someone who, “With her narrative wants to discover the truth and unveil what’s beneath” … but we soon discover she is the one who has a secret. What’s your take on keeping secrets, especially for so long? Do you think it can change a person?
I think it depends on what secret it is. We shouldn’t have to talk about or reveal things of our lives that we’re not comfortable revealing or reliving. In this story, Catherine is forced to face her past in a way she didn’t want to do, and it’s a past that she should have been allowed to talk about in her own way when she was ready. I think it’s very important for people to have the secrets they want to have and to keep whatever they like for themselves, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.
“We shouldn’t have to talk about or reveal things of our lives that we’re not comfortable revealing or reliving.”
Younger Catherine is so different from the present Catherine. For example, young Catherine is so determined, so self-confident, and comfortable with her body… But when in the present she sees the photos that Jonathan took of her, she seems scared, and humble, as if it wasn’t her in the pictures, she is upset. At the same time, somehow the “two Catherines” seem to be the same, in their voice, their way of moving… So, how did you work with Cate Blanchette to portray the same character that is so different at the same time?
Cate was so generous with me in terms of passing over the baton. We didn’t really get a chance to work together, we had about an hour to look through a few scenes and for her to give me her ideas that she had on those specific scenes. She was generous in saying, “She’s yours now, good luck”, which was really liberating for me.
Keeping a secret could be very lonely. What’s your relationship with solitude? Do you ever search for it in your life or is it something you want to stay away from?
I definitely like my alone time. I live by myself, and I really love that, I use people and social situations to recharge my battery a little bit, but then I also need the solitude to recharge. I have a healthy balance now, but if I spend too much time around people, then I get exhausted, and if I spend too much time alone, I get lonely. So, it’s difficult to find a balance, but I think I’ve got a pretty good one now.
How has Alfonso Cuarón’s unique directorial style influenced your performance, the novel-based storytelling, and visual aesthetics in the show? What impact has his collaboration with actors and crew had on the creative process?
Firstly, he’s so amazing and I’m in love with him. Anytime he calls, I’m there.
This was the best experience I’ve ever had in my career, and I love working with him so much. He’s such a genius that the freedom that you feel on set to do what he says because you trust him so much is incomparable, I’ve never had that level before, I literally trust this person 100% to not make me look stupid.
Quite early on, we were having dinner, and someone asked him who his favorite actor was that he worked with, and he said that his best experiences had been with non-actors – as you may know, in “Roma” he used mostly non-actors. Personally, I’d done all of my work and my research for the series, so from that moment on I decided that every time I showed up on set, I would be confident that I’d done my homework but I could throw it away and focus on doing what he wanted me to do. It was so liberating and fun, and he’s got such a love for what he does that no part of it feels like he’s a cog in a machine, or that he’s doing a job, or that we’re working, trying to get money, be successful or anything like that. He’s like a kid trying to make a movie – sometimes, I’d be doing a scene and I’d see out of the corner of my eye that he’d be holding his monitor and jumping up and down. He and his cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, are still so excited. Imagine being on the set of “Y tu mamá también”, as young as they were back then – they were just two kids having fun making something.
That passion and excitement for cinema are so rich in both of them that you get excited as well when you’re rehearsing a scene and you see him sitting and thinking about something, and then he comes over and says, “Can we do this in one shot? Would you be cool with that?” and you’re like, “Fuck, yeah, I’d be cool with that!”.
“Like a kid trying to make a movie”
Several times, in the first scenes but also later, your figure is flooded with light. Was the light like a character for you?
I think that’s part of the fantasy. I guess when I’m filming, I’m not really thinking about that, but when I watch it, I see what you’re talking about. She looks like this kind of angelic figure, which is funny because it’s a juxtaposition of who she is at that point. I think it’s just to emphasize the perspective that she’s almost this irresistible apparition, a vision, like a siren, a mermaid out of the water that’s come to kill the sailors.
Jonathan’s father says that absence sometimes is the thing that fills everything and all spaces. Do you think that grief can fill voids?
Yeah, all different types of grief. I think that it’s important to take the time to grieve, but it’s almost as important as making sure that you’re trying to move on and heal and that you’re taking the time for that. It’s something that needs to be acknowledged and not ignored. I heard someone say, recently, that when you’re grieving your heart is “physically” in pain: if you think of yourself as an athlete, it’s like you broke your foot, but you would still work out the other parts of your body, so that when your foot is healed, you’re still ready to go. I’d take that advice if I were grieving: if my heart is in pain because I’m grieving a loss, I’d make sure that I go to the gym, that I’m still doing all of my work, that I’m keeping up with the correspondence with other people, so that, even though everything is more difficult because I’m heartbroken, when my heart is healed, I don’t wake up and realize, “Shit, I’m so behind in my life”, that I have a life to jump back into.
Grief definitely creates a void, but the idea is to try and fill it.
“I think that it’s important to take the time to grieve, but it’s almost as important as making sure that you’re trying to move on and heal”
I also perceived a fear of failure throughout the whole series: in marriage, in parenting, or in work. What’s your relationship with failure?
I think is really important to embrace failure. From an acting point of view, we’re taught to go in and be ready to fail, and that’s when you learn the lessons, I think. In life, as well, you can’t be scared to fail because it’s in those failures that we get stronger and learn not to do it again.
What is the last thing you discovered about yourself through your work? After this experience, for example, have you gained new awareness or understood something new about yourself?
I think there’s something about Catherine’s confidence that I wish I had more of, like the way she walks and stands. I tend to curl in on myself and try to disappear, I always want to hide, and people see that, they know what you put out into the world. I’m genuinely trying to stand a little taller, and that’s what I’m learning.
What’s your happy place?
Disneyworld [laughs].
I’m kind of joking but I’m also kind of not: we do a family trip there every year and I’ve realized it’s the only place where I can feel like a child again, and I’m such a child whenever I can be, I’m always trying to have fun. When I walk in there, all responsibilities go away, and I think it’s because I go there with my family, so my dad’s there and it’s the only three days of my life that he’s in charge of.
Also, my boyfriend rides motorcycles, and every now and then we go for a ride to Topanga Canyon in LA or to the beach, and these days I’m so happy just sitting on the back of the bike. I don’t know if you’ve seen “Grease 2”, but there’s a song that Michelle Pfeiffer sings called “Cool Rider”, and when we’re on the motorcycle, I’m literally on the back, holding my man, singing that song in my head, feeling so happy.
Recently we went for a ride and had ice cream in a little place I’d never been before, and the breeze was cool, and I was eating ice cream with rainbow sprinkles on it, and I felt so happy and content. I think it’s when things are peaceful. I feel there’s so much drama going on in my life, and when I decide to take a step back and not answer the call and not get involved, I’m so happy.
“it’s when things are peaceful”
What has been your greatest act of courage?
In general, as a pattern, I think whenever I decide to walk away from something instead of accepting less of what I deserve: those are the most courageous moments of my life, for sure.
